. t ~-~ ,,....... . ' . ... .. .. , ... : ., . ' :-.'. .. . . , ; \.._---~ .. < ,. ....... ...~ ', . ·, •,,.~ ~;, , . :-~ ..·· :~.. ·, :~~ ....«.lf : ·.-:~';_... :·}; .-;:'(_,~/· ,._;• .. ~. -~ . . . ..... . ,":,. ,.:,,,/· .. ...,, .. t . ~· ....... ~, ........ •,. ......,~, . ~~;:· ...J:• ... ,":,:. •· (~· ✓••• ... ..,\ .. ; ,• ...... ,. t">. ,,,..¥.._: ... , ... ..::. P.K.PAGE B. RUDDICK P.ANDERSON F. R. SCOTT A. M. KLEIN MONTREAL OEC8\1BE:R 1~ GOOQ MQB~tNG ~~o Gooqsv.1 MAVt S Gt\LLANT HE OPENEO HIS EVES THAT MORN,NG, ANO REMEMBEREO ftRST THAT HE wAa SAO~ ANO THEN WHY, HE TURNED H1S HEAD ON THE PtLLOW ANO SAW TME SUN ANO 'THE: GAEEN Lf:AVES AT THE WtNoow., ANO THE T~ANSPAR'E:NT SHAOOW OF" ONE LEAPA.BOVE ANOTHER. THE TREES MOVED IN THE WINO ANO TH£ SHAOOW MOVED TO TH!: EOG[ OF THE LEAF ANO BACK AGAIN. HE LAY THERE ANO LOOKED AT THE LEAVES ANO THE CROOK~O PIECES OF BLUE BETWEE:N THEM, ANO THOUGHT It t I PAUL. 1· AM GOING AWAY A.GA IN." H£ HAO C~ANQEO HIS NAME TO PAUL B£CAUSC THE OTHER SOUNDED TOO GERMAN 1 ANO EVERY MORNING FOR A LONG TIME HE HAO &Al0 11 11 PAu~, TOOAY WILL 00 THUS ANO 60~ IN THIS WAY HE HAO BECOME ONE W)TH THE NAME, IT HAO FINALLV OIVIOEO HIM .. tNTO rwo ·seP&RATEPEOPLt i ONE HER£, ANO ONE ALMOST LOST,, ON TH£ OTHER s I DE OF AN ocl'.:AN • HE COULD HEAR TH£ HUM ANO CLATTER OF 8UNOAV MOR~ING SREAKFAST OOWN5TAJRS 1 ANO THE DRONE OF" THE RAOI0 1 ANO THt RATTLE OF VOICES~ ALWA:Zlj lN THIS HOUSE; THE \/OlCES. Ht GOT UP QUICKLY ANO STOOO ON THE' BUMPV HOOK£0 RUG, MRS, TRENNAN HAO PACKEO EV£RVTH)NG EXOEPT THE CLOTHES HE NEEDED TO WEAR THAT DAV I ON THC "rRA IN• ONE OAV HE HAO OV£.RHEARO HER TEL.LING SOMEONE THAT HE HAO NO INITJATJVE, ANO NEVER o-to ANYTHING F'OR 11 HIMSELF'• I WOULD IF' SHE WOULD LET ME, If HE THOUGHT, ANO WAS ANG RV BECAUSE SHE MAD PACKED H)S CLOTHES. THEN HE REMEMBERt0 THAT THERE WAS NO NEEO TO BE ANGRY ANVMOR£. Ht THOUGHT OF HIS rtRST MONTHS l·N THlS HOUSE, ANO OF HOW HtS SHYNESS HAO 8EEN A PHVSfCAL AQONV. HE WOULD CATCH HIS BREATH ANO· TREMBLE lr HE OAOPPED A BOOK ON THE rLOoR, OR RAN THE BATH WATER TOO LOUDLY. Now, HE KNEW THAT THE6£ THINGS WERE NOT IMPORTANT TO THE TA£NNAN8. Nor HALF AS IMPORTANT AS THE ABILITY TO EXPRESS 0NESELr IN WOROS, LOUOLV ANO OFTEN. IT TALKED, THIS FAMILY~ EVEN WHEN TH! HOUSE WAS EMPTY, THE ROOMS WCAC ARTICULATE, THER£ WAS ALWAYS SOMt PIECE OF UNFINlSHEO eus(NESS IN EACH ROOM, SOME THING HA·LF DONE, WHICH SA)O THAT THE FAMILY WOULD BE BACK SOON TO ATTENO iO IT. THtV SA10 EVERYTHING ANO KEP~ NOTHING BACK, THEY SCRAPED 'rHE OAV OF ITS OOING EVERY NIGHT AT TH£ OJNNER TABLE, AT 8BR£AKF"AST.t TH£V OISCUSSEO THtlR DREAMS, ANO EACH TOLD HOW HE ~AO SL£PT. EVERY H£AOACHE1 EACH ANGER, EVERV REACTION, WAS BROKEN DOWN INTO WOR0S ANO PHRASES ANO EXCLAMATIONS, IN TH£ 6EGINNtNG, PAUL UNOERSTOOO, NOTHING. HE COULO SAY YES AND NOj PLEASE ANO THANK YOU, THEY TALKED TO H}M ANO AT HIM ANO ABOUT HJM, BUT ALL HE COULD 00 F'OR ANSWER WAS SMILE. TwlcE, HE HAO TRlCO TO SPEAk OF HJ MS£ Lf", THE F' I RST TI ME WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT• HE TOLO THEM THAT HE HAO CHANGED HIS NAM£. "PAUL., Now, 11 Ht: SAID. IT HAO TAKEN ALL HIS STRENGTH ANO COURAGE• THEN HE HAO SPOKEN ONCE MORE E3EOAUS£ HE WANTED TO SHARE ANO EXPLAIN A GREAT BUA0£N WHICH WAg SO OVERWH£LMINGLV HIS OWN, HE SHOWED TH£M . HIS PASSPORT• THERE WAS A LARQ£,· RtO fl J0 STAMPED ON EACH PAGE 11 PAGE 2 GoooMORNINO ANo GooosvE MAVIS GALLANi 11 THl6 16 lN MY LIPE, A CERTAJN THING 11 , HE BEGAN, AND THEN THE: QROPEO-~OR CLUMSY £NGLISH WORDS RECEDED AGAlNj AND HE ~ALTERED ~ IT WAS BECAU,E3E HE COULD SEE:THAT .THEV THOUGHT HE WAS ASHAMED OF IT, AND HE DID NOT KNOW HOW TO GO ON. THE rAMlLV STOPPED WHAT 1T WAS DOlNG ANO LISTENED, BU1 THERE WAS A TENSION IN THE L1STENING WHJCH CONFUSED HJM1 BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO HURRY ON SOMETHING ELSE, AND SO HE COULD NOT SPEAK. GRADUALLY, HE SANK INTO A WELL OP SILENCE, UNOERSTANO)NG LJTTLE, SAYING NOTHING, EAT1NG STlFFkY 1 MOVING AWKWARDLY FROM ROOM TO ROOM. THESE WERE TH£ PEOPLE WHO MAO DONE EVERYTHING POR HIM. THEY HAD HELPED HIM CROSS THE OCEAN. THEY HAD SENT ~JM TO SCHOOL. Now THAT THAT WAS rJNJSHE0 1 THEY HAO WRITTEN TO PEOPLE AND THE SUM OF THElR · WRlilNG WAS THE LIST OF ADDRESSES IN HlS WALLET. SOMEONE TO SEE . ABOUT A JO~• SOMEONE TO SEE ABOUT A ROOM. SOMEHOW, FUMBLINGLY, HE HAD ~ITTEO INTO THElR PATTERN ANO IT HAO GROWN AROUND HIM. Now, HE MUST CHANGE AGAl~. HE HAD LEARNED IN HIS L.JF'"E 01'" MANY CHANGES N·EVER TO SAY 11 THl6 16 THE LAST TIME f WALK DOWN THESE STAIRS TO 8REAKF'AST 11 ANO 11 THtS IS THE LAST TIME { SAY GOOD MORN]NG 11 • Bur IT WAS THERE, THE SENSE OF ENDING, AND T~E SLIPPlNG INTO THE VACUUM THAT LJES BETWEEN THE PATTERNS IN A LIFE. EVERYONE WAS CONSIDERATE: THAT MORNlNQ. THE: BOYS GRINNED, AND EVEN ATTEMPTED A LlTTLE CASUAL HORSEPLAY. THE GlRL REALIZED SUDDENLY THAT HE WAS LEAVING, ANO THAT HE WAS, A~TER ALL, MALE, AND NOT A BROTHER. SHE POURED HIS COFFE£ AND WJSHEO HE WERE MORE ATTRAOTIVE. MR. TRENNAN 1 WEARING A SWEATER OECAUSE JT WAS SUNDAY, SAID SOMETHING PORCEO AND JOVJ AL. PAUL LOOKED AT MRS. TRE:NNAN AND THEY 80TH SMILED. SHE HAO NEVER MADE THE: Ft.fTILE: ATTEMPT TO CROSS THE GAP GETWEEN THEM 1 BUT THEY ACC~PTED EACH OTHER IN A WAY THAT NEED£D NO EXPLAJNING. HE KNEW THAT HE WOULD THlNK OF HER, OFTEN• MR. TRENNAN SAlD 11 8AGS ALL PACKED?" ANO PAUL NODDED. HE SAW 1HAT THE CAR WAS ALL READY OACKED O~T OF TH~ GARAGE INTO THE DRIVEWAY. 11 WEtLL ALL GO TO THE srATION 11 THE GIRL. SAID, OUT MRS. TRENNAN SAID QUICKLY 11 No., JUST FATHER AND MYSELF. 11 THE OOYS CARR1ED HJS SUITCAS£S OUT TO THE CAR, AND HE COULD HEAR THEJR VOICES ANO THE THICK SLAM OF THE CAR DOOR. MRS. TRENNAN HAD THE KEYS IN HER HAND, ANO THE~E WAS AN ENVELOPE FOR PAUL «IN CASE THEREtS NO TIME AT THE STATlON, OR JN CASE I SHOL;l.O F"ORGET. 11 He: PELT, AGAIN, THE CHOKED EMSA~RASSMENT Or ACCEPTANCE WITH THANKS. THEN HE SAID GOODBYE, AND SHOOK HANDS WITH THE aovs, WHO HAO N~VER TRIED ro LJKE HJM, AND HE SHOOK HANDS WITH ~HE GIRL, WHO WAS JUST BECOMING AWARE OF H!M. THEY WISHED ' HlM LUCK, AND THEN CAME ANO STOOD IN THE DRIVEWAY TO WATCH THE CAR START, AND HE HAD TO KEEP SMILING OUT OF THE WINDOW AT THEM. THEN THE CAR STARTED AND THEY TURNED OUT OF 'THE ORtVEWAV ONTO THE: ROAD 1 ANO HE WAVED, AND THEY WAVED, ANO EVERYONE WAS REL.IEVEO. MR. TRENNAN WAS DRIVING AND SMOKING A1 THE SAME TIME. THE ASHES ~ROM HIS CIGARETTE BL~W OUT PAST THE WINDOW OF THE BACK SEAT, WHERE PAUL WAS LOOKING o,ur. MRs. TRENNAN TURNED SJOE:WAYS IN THE FRONT so THAT SHE COULD TALK .TO HIM. PAGE 3 GooOMORNING AND GooDSYE MAv,s GALLANT "THE CJTV IS REALLY EXCITING. ANO YOU WON'T 6£ LONESOME ONCE vou GET SETTLED. You CAN COME UP ~OR WEEKENDS, ANO WE'LL COME OOWN AND SEE VOU, T00. 11 PAUL KNEW THAT HE WOULD NEVER COME BACK, ANO SHE KNEW It Too. THEN WHY oro SH£ BOTHER SAVING THINGS? EvtN IN HIS FINAL ASSOCIATlON . WITH THIS rAMILY HE MUST SE MADE AWARE OF THEIR WASTE OF WORDS. MRG. TRENNAN WAVED TO SOMEONE AS THE CAR PULLED lNTO THE S¥ATION V~RD. IT TURNED OUT TO BE MRS. JACKSON, ANO ANOTHER WOMAN. SHE SAID HELLO TO PAUL, ANO "WELL vou 1 RE ,,.,NAL.LV OF"F" TO THE BfG CITY." AND TO THE TRENNA,$ 11 GUESS vou'RE SORRY TO LOSE YOUR SIG BOV.tt SHE WENT ON AGAIN, QUtCKLY, BECAUSE'. EVERVONt LOOKE:O SO EMBARRASSED, 11 THEV SAY I TS HOT IN TOWN• 11 SH£ INDICATED HER GUEST, WHO WAS WCARtNG HIQH HEELS AND A WHIT£ HAT AND DRESS. AFTER THAT NO ONE SAID ANYTHING• THEN THEY HEARD . THE TRAfN COMlN~ AROUND THE 6EN0 1 AND THEY COULD SEE THE 5MOkE. MRS. TRENNAN SAID 11WAIT A MINUTE MRS. JACKSON, WE 1L~ DROP YOU OFF ON THE WAY HOME• 11 FOR THE TRENNANS I IT WAS ST.I LL POSS f SLE TO INTERLOCK EVENTS, THE TRAtN RAN IN FRONT OF THEM, LOUDLY ANO OUSTILV. THEY SAIC GOODBYE, GOODBYE, TAK£ CARE OF YOURSELF, WRITE AND LET US KNOW. MRS. TRENNAN SUDDENLY LOOKED FRIGHTENED. PAUL WAS CLIMBINQ THE STtP6 1 AND CARRYING HIS BAGS, AND INDICATING A CONFUSED FAREWELL, HE WAS THE ONLY ?ASSKNGER AT THAT STATION, HE ALMOST FELL WHEN THE TRAIN STARTED. HE SCRAMGLED HIS BAGS INTO A SEAT, AND TOOk A LONG TIMt GETTING ORGANIZED FOR THE JOURNEY, SO THAT HE WOULD NOT SEE THE TRENNANS IN CASE THEY WERE STILL ON THE STATION PLATFORM, WAVlNG. WH~N THE HILLS ANO HOUSES GR£W UNFAMILIAR ANO FtNALLV COMPLETE~V STRANGE, HE KNEW THAT HE WAS F"REE. HE FOUND HIMSELF THINKfNG IN ENGLISH, ANO WAS SURPRISED. Ht NOTICED, THEN, THAT ~on THE FtRST TIME IN TWO YEARS, HE WAS NOT BRACED AGAINST THE SOUND OF A VOICE, SPEAKING TO HIM, ANO EXPECTIN~ AN ANSWER. HE NOT1CED SOMETHING ELSE T00 1 AND SMILED. THE ONLV WORDS HE HAD SPOkEN ALOUD THAT DAV SINCE WAKING WtRE GOODMORNING AND GOODDYE:. .. PAGE 4 THREE BRICK WALLS M~VIS GALLANT THE BOY WAS A STRANGER lN THE CITY, AND Hl6 ROOM FACED A ORICK WALL. THERE WAS A NARROW STREET GE:TWEEN TH£ WINDOW AND THE: WALL, AND A LAMP POST 1 ANO A SMALL TWISTED TREE. IT WAS HlS FIRST NIGHT IN THE ROOM. THE KEY TO THE FRONT DOOR LAY SLANTWISE ON THE OUREAU, OUT HE WAS NOT VET AWARE THAT IT OELONGED TO HlM, AND COULD DE USED. THE PAPER ON THE WALL WAS OLURRED AND DROWN. THERE WAS A SINGLE OED WITH A GREEN ANO WHITE STRIPED SEERSUCKER GEOSPREAD, AND A CHAlR WEDGED BETWEEN THE FOOT OF THE BED AND THE WINDOW. THE OUREAU WAS · PAINTED GREEN. THE DRAWERS WERE ~INED WITH DROWN PAPER AND THERE WERE CRUMGS JN THE CORNERS UNDER THE PAPER. THE DOV 1 PAUL, HAD SOME MONEY IN AN ENVELOPE AND MORE MONEY FOLOED IN HIS WALLET. PART OF IT WAS SUPPOSED TO OE EMERGENCY MONEY, TO OE SET ABlDE, OUT HE CARRIED 80TH PAGKE:TS. HAD IT DEEN POSSIOLE, HE WOULD HAVE CARRIED EVERYTH)NG HE OWNED. HE LOVED WHATEVER WAS HIS. HE HAD GIVEN THE -IRJSH LADY DOWNSTAIRS FOUR DOLLARS AND FtFTY CENTS FOR THE ROOM AND HE FELT VERY PROUD AND FREE, AND CONSCIOUS THAT THE ROOM BELONGED TO HlM. HE TOOK THE ENVELOPE OUT AGAIN AND LOOKED AT IT• HE COULD DO ANYTHING• . He: COULD GO TO A RESTAURANT. HE COULD GO TO THE MOVIES. HE WAS FREE. HE WAS ABSOLUTELY COMPLETELY UNRESTnAINED AND FREE. HE TOOK THE KEY FROM THE DUREAU AND WENT OUT Or THE DOOR, DOWN THE STEPS INTO THE STREEi. IT . WAS HALF PAST SIX, A GREY EVENtNG 1N A GREY CITY. THE STREET WAS NO ~ONQEF •YAN ONE OLOCK 1 AND OOUNDED ON THREE SlDES 8V ORICK. BEYOND THE WALLS, YOU COULD SENSE THE Lt~E ANO MOVEMENT OF THE REST OF THE NEleHDORHOOD. You COULD HEAR TROLLEYS AND TAxis, ANO SEE A HAZE a~ SMOKE, AND A REFLECTION Or LIOHT. ON THIS STREET, THERE WERE NO CHILDREN. THE PEOPLE WHO POKEO. REPETITIVE KEYS INTO THE DOORWAYS AND CLl~OEO THE STAJRS INSIDE WERE THOSE WHO HAVE NOTHINO OF THEMSELVES OUTSIDE . LYING AROUND LOOSE. THEY WENT DOWNTOWN TO WORK IN iHE MORNING AND ATE THEIR MEALS AT T1LE COUNTERS. SOMETIMES THEY •ENT ro THE MOVIES. SOMETIMES THEY CAME lN EARLY, ANO LAY ACROSS THE1R OEDs, SMOKJNa, AND srARlNG AT THE CElLING. THEY HAD NAMES, OUT THEY WERE NO ONE. THE DOY, ~AUL, FELT THE ANONYMITY OF THE STREET, OUT FELT SECURE DECAUSE OF IT. THE THREE ORICK WALLS STOOD FOR SHELTER. Ht TURNED THE CORNER ANO WALKED ACROSS TO WHERE .THERE WERE LfGHTS AND SOUND. THERE WAS A LUNCH ROOM ACROSS THE 6TREET 1 WITH AP~LES AND . ORANGE~ STACKED IN PYRAMIDS IN THE W!NOow, AND COLORED PpSTERS ADVERTISING SOFT DRINKS. ONE SIGN SAID 11 M"lLK SHAKES, ALL J="LAYORS•tl ANOTHER LISTED DIFFERENT KttNOS OF SANDWICHES WITH THEIR PR1CtSe HE WENY fNSlDE, WHERE JT WAS DARK, ANO THE SMELL WAS M01ST 1 6F MlLK AND WATER. THE MAN AT THE SODA FOUNTAIN WAS READING A NEWSPAPER. THERE WAS A AJNG OF' DARK HAJR AROUND THE DACK OF HIS HEAD, ENDING lN TWO LITTLE TUrTs, LIKE ROSETTES DEHIND THE EARS. THE TOP OS TH£ HEAO WAS DARE AND SHINY. PAUL ~ELT SILLY ANO AWKWARD, WALKING ACROSS THE LONG STRETCH-0~ RESTAURANT, PAST THE EMP!Y OOOTHS WITH THE MAN WATCHING Hts APPROACH. FJNALLY THEY ST•oo FACING EACH OTHER AND THE MAN DlD 1NT SMILE, OUT STOOO W[TH HJS HANDS SPREAD ON THE NEWSPAPER, ACROSo 1 THE CO~NTEQ• PAUL HAO THOUGHT VAGUELY AND PLEASANTLY OF EAT}NG GOOD THJNGS 1 SWEET THfNGS, THE SORT OF THJNGS ONE DJOtNT GET AT HOME. \. PAGE 5 THREE BRICK WALLS MAV,1 S GALLANT INSTEAD, HE FOUND HIMSELF READING THE SIGNS AOOVE THE ROWS OF COCA-COLA BOTTLES AND OVERCOME WITH THE SAME D£SPERATE TENSteN THAT HE FELi WHEN PEOPLE WERE WAlrtNG FOR HIM TO SAY S~METHING 1 . AND ALL HE COULD THINK WAS 11 1 KNOW WHAT I MEAN BUT CAN 1T SAY IT. 11 HE HAD· OE:VE:LOPED WlTHlN HIMSELF A MECHANlCAL SYSTEM OF QUESTIONING AND ANSWERING, THE QUESTIONS TERSE 1 ANO THE ANSWERES FORMAL. 11 18 THIS 1MPORTANT ENOUGH TO SAY ALOUD? 11 11 No, NOTHING I THJNK 1s IMPORTANT. 11 11 THEN LET. US SAY NO MORE AOOU1" IT• It THE MAN SAID 11 8ANDWICHES, · PEANUi GUTTER, WESTERN 1 TOMATO. No ICE CREAM. No ICE CREAM TILL THE FJRST OF" THE MONTH. 11 II TOMATOn, HES.AID, AND KNEW .HE DIDN 1i WANT IT. THE MAN NODDED AND PUT TWO SLICES OF GRAYlSH GREAO SIDE OV SIDE, HE COVERED THE MJDDLE OF ONE WITH GUTTER ANO SLICED HALF A TOMATO THICKLY ON THE OTHER. THEN HE SCOOPED SOME MAVONNAJ8E INTO A SMALL OILED PAPER DISH, PUT IT ALL TOGETHER ON A PLATE 1 AND PUSHED IT A~ROSS TO PAUL. HE TURNED GACK TO HIS NEWSPAPER, AND LOOKED UP LONG ENOUGH TO SAY 11 ANYTHJNG TO DRINK? TEA? 11 \~TE n PAUL HAO SAID VAS, HE DEGAN TO QU£STJON HIMSELF ·AGA IN. 11 WHY D I D I SAY WANTED IT ? It' "BECAUSE THE MAN SUGGESTED tT. Ir HE HAD NOT MENTIONED IT f COULD HAVE RE:F"USED 1 ,'\ND P.-INISHED THE SANDWICH, AND LEfPT. 11 "IT IS NOT IMPORTANT. 1AM STILL F'REE. 11 _l1YES 1 I AM STILL FREE,n THE MAN GnO~ED UNDER TH[ COUNTER ANO PULLED OUT A THICK WHITE cu~ AND SAUCER. HE PUT A TEA BAG ATTACHED TO A STRING IN THE CUP, AND HOLDING THE STRING ON THE EDGE WITH HIS FINGER 1 PlLLED THE CUP WITH HOT WATER., HE S/\JD 11 THAT 1 LL OE THIRTY CENTS. 11 HE TOOK THE TWO COINS FROM THE COUNTER AND DID NOT LOOK UP AGAtN, NOT EVEN PAUL SLJD DOWN FROM THE ROUNO STOOL ANO WAL~ED AWAY. THE BOY MOVED DOWN THE STREET, AIMLESSLY. HE THOUGHT OF THE MAN IN THE RESTAURANT AND FELT A GREAT FEAR THAT VERY SOON HE WOULO DISCOVER THAT THE CJTY WAS COMPOSED OF GROUPS AND UNJTS, AND THAT HE WOULD 8E FORCED TO ,MAK£ A · ooNTACT WITH THEM. HE WANTED TO BE PART OF A CROWD. HE WOULD BE FORCED TO SPEAK, AND WORSE, TO LISTEN. HE WOULD NOT LOSE HJMSSLF. HE wauLD NOT DE ~REE; HE STOPPED lN FRONT OF A THEATER, WHICH WAS SET BACK SOMEWHAT ~ROM THE LINE OF THE STREET. THE ENTRANCE WAS WIDE ANO BRJGHT, AND THE TICKEY or~ICE WAS SQUARELY IN TH~ CENTER. Ir LOOKED VERY OPEN ANO VERY VULNERABLE• PAGE: 6 THREE uRIOK WALLS , . MA\/ IS GALLANT H£ THOUGHT OF HOW SATISFACTORY tT WOULD 0£ lF THE TlCKET OFFICE WRtR TO ONE SIDt 1 AND THERE WERE GREAT CROWDS OF PEOPLE, COMING FROM ONE DIRECTION ONLY, ANO OF HOW EASY IT WOULD OE THEN TO OE PART OF SOMETHING. INSTEAD THERE WE~C TWO OR THREE PEOPLE LOOKING AT THE: DJS,-L'\Y CARDS, ONE MAN SHAKING CHANGE OUT lN HIS ~ANO WHILE THE GlRL WITH MJM WA -ITED TO ONE SIDE, AND A WOMAN fN A POLO COAT TALKING TO THE GIRL AT THE T I CK ET O FF" l C E • TH I S . I N FU R I AT ED H I M1 u EC AU SE P E: 0 P l £ WHo S O LO T I CKE: TS , AN 0 WITH WHOM HE WAS FORCED TO MAKE A CONTACT, SHOULD GE INANIMATE ~NO NOT ~LA~NTJNG THE1n FrtENDS CEFORE HIM. "CONTACT" WAS A WORD HE HAD LEARNED AT 'HOME. You 1 LL NEVER GET ANYWHERE UNLESS YOU MAKE CONTACTS 11 • ALWAYS CONTACTS, NEVER rRlENcs. HE TVRNED AWAY AND WALKED D~CK TO HIS STREET, TO HIS ROOM. PAPERS AND DUSi OLEW UP FROM TH~ GUTTERS. 11 IF PEOPLE S~E ME HU RRYING ALONG ,'\LONE," HE THOUGHT, tlTHEV WILL THINK THAT lT IS TO ESCAPE THE R,\IN, 11 WHEN HE TURNEO THE CORNER AND SAW THE HOUSE HE LIVED IN, HE ALMOST RiN. Jusr AS HE CLOS~6 THE DOOR OF H·ls ROOM, THE RAIN OEGAN TO FALL AGAINST THE WINDOW . HE O~NT HlS ARMS ANO ·LEANED ON THE SHUTTERS, T~EMGLING WITH A SWEET LONEL(NESS WHICH REQUIRED NO PEOPLE. THE SLOW RAIN PASSED LIKE A CURTAIN THROUGH THE ARC OF THE STREE~ LAMP 1 AND THE STREET WAS DARK AND WET. 8£VONO THE WALLS, THERE . WAS THE Cl TY 1 AND rROM THE LEDGE OF THE WI NCOW, HE COULS SLIDE BACK TO THE THOUGHT THAT IT WAS A MASS OF PEOPL£ 1 A SArE MASS, WITHOUT F"OnM • HE PRE S SED HIS FOREHEAD AGAINST THE DAMP GLASS, AND FELT HIMSELF FALLING INTO SLEEP. 11 WHATEVER H:,PPENS 11 HE THOUGHT, 111 AM STILL FREE.n nYE:s, I AM STILL P'REE. 11 THE STATUES PATRICK ANDERSON UNDER THE SEAL 0~ MOVEMENT, PARTING THE AIR, SLEEVING THE!~ ARMS WITH ELEGY, THEY STANO UPON TALL PEDESTALS So ~AR □ EHIND IS THEIR DERBY DAY 0~ RUNNING ANO SWEAT ANO Ol·L AND ~RETTEO HAJR AMONGST THE GA~LtC· SHOUTS THEIR LONELY FLASHING BODIES DREW ~AOM cnowos THAT THEV 1VE FORGbTT£N IT. THOSE ARID DOWNS 0~ DOOKltS, TOUTS _ AND iWO-TO-ONES-OAR-ONES, TENTS, HORSES AND WINE WHEN THEY RAN NECK ANO NECK PAGE 7 THE STA TUES. -PATRICK ANOERSON AND NAKED ~ROM THE NECK TO THE WINGED PEET OR THREW THE JAVELIN, THE DISCUS. THAT JS PASSED. Now DROWNED lN STONE AND GOWNED IN L1GHT THESE MEN HAVE PUT ON TOMOS--THE IMMORTAL ATHLETES WHO WEAR THE GRAVES OF THEIR YOUTH 16 PER~ECT SHAPE AND STAND FOREVER WtTH ADVANCING STEF, GREAT GUJLD!NGS ARE MUSLIN TO THEM--NOTHING. HALLS ARE FILTERS COMJNG TO THEIR FACES. THEY STRIP FOR ACTION, CLEAR THE MAROLE DECKS. NEYER WAS THE~E SUCH POWER AS IN THEIR LIFTED FISTS, NEVER WER~ BRUISERS AND DOXERS SO BEAUTIFUL, NEVER WAS LIGHT SO SIMPLlFJED TO STAND ANO FIGHT. YET THESE THE UNDEFEATED ARE THE INCOMPLETE, lMMATURE 1 nEFUSlNG TO BE FAILURES, THE ONES THE HOMESICK AND THE O~EAMERS LOVE. WHO LIKE TO LOVE rAnTHER DACK, AT THE OEGINNING, ON THE CLEAN THRESHOLD RINSED WITH SPACE, BE~ONE THE WATER WAS CHANGED TO A PURPLE FERMENT, DE~ORE THE ERRORS AND THE FLOWERS--THERE WHE~E IT SEEMS ~ROZEN AND THE wono JS HUNGER AND THE Gov's BODY CLINCHES THE PLATONIC ESSENCE. THEY DR I GHT AS , cLr,cK-FACE, WE OAnK AS THE HANDS THAT MARK THE TIME. WE CHANGING ENDLESSLY, THEY NEVER CHANQJNQ. ARE THEY, REALLY, COWARDS BEHIND THE MUSLIN CURTAINS OF EACH ERA LOOMING, ANO HESITATING1 WHo 1 vE NEVER STOOD AT THE SLUM DOOR, THE INCR~DIOLE SEETHING SICKOED NOR EVE~ QUITE A~RIVEO AT GIRTH OR MARR~AGE Non TO THE STARK AND STR)KE Or LOVE NOR AT HAOfTAT-HUT ' Non DOWN THE MlNERSt VALLEYS WHERE WE DIGRESS, CONCERNED WITH BLOOD ANO BOOTLACE, AND HANDS GnEAKING ~ROM STONE UNTIDILY CARESS A CHILD OR SACK A HUNDRED CITIES ••• i BUT THEY HOLD THEIR LOVELY IMPULSE STILL IN THAT HALT WHITE OF THEIR'S, A HOISTED HAUTEUR, MIRACULOUS SNOW~ALL HOVERJNG OVER HILL. THE STATUES. PATRlGK ANDERSON WMY ARE THESE BLANK? NOT DROWN, NO STAEAK OF OlL, NO SWEAT, NO SC~R, NO MARK OR MOLE••• OR ARE WE WISE TO FAMISH THE IDEAL TO □E LlKE THIS? MEN WHO SHOULD PLAY WITH CHILDREN UPON WHITE SANDS: TURNED WHITER WITH EACH THRESHOLD: WHITER GENEATH EACH CLOUO; ADO~ED BY GULLS BOY-MEN, THE PALE AND NAKED, HAMING THAT SHOCK THAT OLDER CHILDREN GIVE, RESTLtss, HELD BACK, WHO KICK A SP~CE AS THOUGH lT WER~ A RUG OR WRESrLE lN A GAP, OR TOUCH THE LIGHT COLD ON A WINDOW ••• WHJSTLtNG INSTEAD OF LOVE, LIVING ON APPLES, HIGH UP 1 NEAR THE R00r. ADMIT OUR INSTINCT, THEN, THAT PUTS THEM 8 ACK 1 ADULT IN SIZE, DEHIND THE GROWN-UP WORLD WHEP-E THEY GIVE NO OFFENSE ALTHOUGH THEY STRlP 1 AND L00K LIKE CHILDREN FOR THE SNOWS OF C~Rl6TMAS 1 THE SCHOOLMASTEnls APPLAUSE. WHO STILL ADVANCE THROUGH US 1 THE SCULPTURES OF ID~AL SELVES, • HALF-FORMED WITHlN OUR LARGE DISF~G~~N"T, AS VIRGIN AS OUR FLESH IS TO A WOUND: MAIDEN, AS WE FOR MUSIC ANO FOR SL.~EP. THIS IS A PLACE OP MARBLE AND A~T AND GLASS-YET STRANGELY FAMILIAR ARE THESE YOUNG ADVANCING FIGURES, ALMOST OURSELVES, SVT NEARER BEAUTY, N'£ARER THE PRt~E OF STONE, THE TONE OF BELLS WAS~~NG THE DUSK, THE FIRST MADE LIKE A FASTNESS, THE APR}L OF YOUNG GOOS AND GLOSSOMSf GUNFtRE. HALF-Goos, HALF-CHILDREN: SHOULD WE LEAVE THEM IN THE CtVJC YAWNS OP SQUARESj THE VACANT CENTRES UNDER THE ~LAGS, BY THE WHIPPED Posrs WHERE FRESCOES OF SLOGAN$ CAN BE LEFT, FORGOTTEN? WH-EN THEY ARE HURT LIKE THIS, AS THOUGH A SWORD C0MMfTED SUICJDE, SELF-HURT OF SILENCE, BLUNTED GY BEING YOUNG, NOT SURE? WHE~ TH~Y GLOW THEIR WHlTE WHISPERS FOR HUMANITY.•• OBSCURE, EXASPERATED IS THEIR BEAVTY THE ST,\TU!:S. PAGE 9 PATRICK ANOE~SON AS IS THE IMPOVERfSHEO BEAUTY OF OU~ OWN YVQUNG MEN ANO GIALS WHO WEAR AGAINST THEIR LIMBS NUN 1s WHITE, TOMB'S WHITE, THE COLOURS OF MUSEUMS, SKYLlCHTS ANO VISIONS, ASSENT-MINDEDNESS, I AM REMINDEO IN THIS HAUNTED PLACE OF THINGS NOT OWNED, OF THE INHtBITEO HERO ANO OF A WHISTLE DOWN AN EVENING STREEi THAT CUT ITS MOVTH ANO 6TR1PFED OF~ ALL liS CLOTHES TO BE SO LONELY NONE COULD ANSWER IT, NOV8v1BER PATRJCK ANDERSON I WAtT ~OR 11 1 AS ~OR A MtRACLEATTACHINO PROVINCES OF OTH£RWHERE WITH CONTINENTAL COLD. WHEN tT SHALL FALL THEN WILL THE SARE St COVtR£0 1 ANO MORE BARE. AUTUMN iS SHOT. TH£ BASKET IS UNDONE WHE~E BLUE SMOKE BLOOMED ABOUT THE FRUJT, TH£ QAAPE, ANO CURL~O AROUND THE CASUAL MEDIUM SUN, THE FRUIT HAS SH~IVELEO IN ~HE 8ASKETWO~K. I THE r~ELLISES, THE WICKER WALLS AR£ BARE, TH£ SUN IS BLEEDING IN THE BA.SKET TAAP. THE tAUIT IS BITTEN TO THE WtNTRY CORt ANO IN THE R!ND OF THINGS THE WIND COMES UP. NoVE:MBER 1s ARCH OF" ASH. I WAIT, 1 WAIT. MORE DARK, MORE NORTH THAN 8EATH, tHE QUEER OAYS QO TILL ARCTIC SILENCES IMMACULATE tNGROSS THE TOWN. AND THEN TH£ f£0ERAL SNOW. PAGE 10 THE LIBRARY A. M. KLEIN ON LEATHER, BENEAjH RAFTEA6 1 BESIDE OAK WE SAT ANO TALKEO ONLY OF AMOA INTELLECTUALIS. THt BOOKS 1 AT THEIR STANCES 1 ON THE MOUNTING WALL, GOLD-LETTERED, CRESTED, RED, LIKE 6£VtNTH-GENERATIONAL ~ACKEYS STOOD DUMB, HIGH-BLOOD-PRESSURED, SEEN ANO NOT HEARO. P~OQ~ESS WAS AIR IN THAT ROOM, RtFfN~MENTJ AND SOFT MANNERS: THE ORtGtNAL ~OBBER BARON BRED DOWN TO SWEETNESS AND TUNGSTEN. Hts OPINIONS WERE SENSITIVE, Hts GESTURES FINE, FtNE, ANO ~IKE HIS CIGARETTES WERE MONAGRAMMEC. THE CULTURE OF THE BEST SCHOOL6 1 TO WIT, MORALS AND SPORT, WO~N NEATLY, LIKE HIS CLOTHES. HE SIGHED, FROM rHE WORLo 1s L0NG. HE HAO WELTSCHM£RZ, LIKE A PAINLESS DISEASE. THINKERS HE QUOTED AND WAS PURE REASONj POETS, ANO WAS KIND. EVEN THE BLOOD MOVING HIS VOCAL COROS SEEMED AN INTRUS!ON, YET SUDDENLY, AND FOR NO REASON AT AL~, HIS TEMPER CHANGED, ANO SLL HIS BREEDING SLOUGHtD, Swiss GOVERNESS ANO ENGLlSH TUTOR 8EAO, -OR MORE THAN EVER ALIVE? IT WAS A CINEMA-CHANGE. As IF THE BOOKS WERE BOARDS AND 1 AT A BUTTON, HAO SLID AWAY, REVEALING BARS, AND BEHIND, CfrMENT -HIS SECRET -WHERE WILD BEASTS YAWNED, AND WAVEO PAW, CJRCLED, RAN roRWARO, ROARED FOR THE WEEK 1S MEAT. THE GREEN OLD AGE A. M. KLEIN PITY WHO WEAR THE CASTOF~S OP THE YEARS, DRESSING IN CLOWN 1S CLOTHES THE UNCLOWNISH ONES, WITH BALDNESS ON HEAD, AN-D HAIRINESS IN EARS, AND CELLOPHANE UPON THE CHALKY BONES, AN □, IN CONCEALED SACKING, STONES' PAGE l 1 THE QREEN OLD AGE A. M. KLEIN SWEET ~LAKES lN THE B~ooo, THE MOUTH EXHALING ACID; THE BOWELS BECALMED, ANO THE LOUD BILE lN RAGEj THE ARTERY HARDENED, ANO THE MtMBER FLACCtD; NOR EVER AT NORMAL THE PULSATING GAUGE METATHESIS Or AGE WHICH STRIVES AGAIN TOWARD fTS BABYHOOD WHERE NEITHER THE SHANKS NOR SPHINCTERS WILL BEHAVE, NOR SYNTAX STAND, ANO WHERE, AS IF JT WOULD BE JOINED AGAIN, THE SPINAL CORD DOES CRAVE THE NAVE~ 0~ THE GRAVE. BE BLESSED THE DOCTORS WHO WITH TOXIC EASE, CONED ODOUR, MAnROW£0 NEEDLE, CANDtO PILL, THE WAXING 0~ THESE MOONED MONSTROSITIES FORESTALL; ANO GIVE fNTO THE HAND AND WILL THE PROLEPTIC MIRACLE. NOTE: OUR READERS WILL BE tNTERE8TED TO LEARN THAT TWO PREVIEW EDITORS, P. K. PAGE ANO F. R. SCOTT, WER~ AWARDED PRIZES BY POETRY MAGAZINE, CHICAGO, FOR POEMS PUBLISHED DURING THE YEAR. PLEASE St:Nt> ALL.. 0ONAT ·IOMS; ''.-LITERARY OONTRISUTIONS AND COMMENiS TO BRUCE RUDDlCK, l49l CRESCENT STREET, MONTREAL.